


Shove Some Eggs up my Ass and Call me an Easter Basket

by alixplaydespacito, Everyfuckingnameistaken



Series: Snake Sex [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A Literal Mess, Aphrodisiacs, Bottom Lance (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), It’s so wet dude, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance just wants to have a regular old movie night and Keith’s genetics are like “HA FUCK YOU”, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Naga Keith (Voltron), Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Keith (Voltron), Oviposition, Pre-Season/Series 08, This one’s for you Ruchi, Top Keith (Voltron), Xenophilia, don’t worry no spoilers here my trash children, listen he’s a giant cat snake I don’t need your fucking judgement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-21 20:27:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17050007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alixplaydespacito/pseuds/alixplaydespacito, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everyfuckingnameistaken/pseuds/Everyfuckingnameistaken
Summary: Since Keith was twelve years old, he’s been experiencing heats thanks to his Galra genetics, and it’s only gotten worse after he transformed and grew a long snake-like tail, and started laying clutches of ping-pong ball sized eggs, which, as one could imagine, can be pretty uncomfortable when there’s no one to lay them in. When he goes into heat during movie night with Lance in the castle’s theater, he has to explain everything in the span of, like, a minute, before he loses his fucking mind.(AKA: Panicked egg-laying)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. Galra are basically cat snakes, right? I mean a lot of them look like reptiles and listen I have no excuse for this filth.
> 
> For my egg daddy Alix, who really just wanted me to say that Keith shit eggs, and for Ruchi, who is addicted to bottom Lance smut. Love you both (but I love Alix more)

* * *

When Keith was twelve or thirteen - he couldn’t remember which - he started to experience heats. At the time, he and his foster families had assumed that he was just a horny teenage boy, but Keith started to think a bit differently when he joined the Blade.  
  
Many of them, much to his surprise, shared his reptilian forked tongue and razor sharp fangs, which he was later informed produced a toxin that made the human body confuse pain with pleasure and mix all sorts of other things up.  
  
After learning that, it all started to change.  
  
It started with the fluffy ears that sprouted on top of his head, leaving him much more sensitive to sounds. After that, his eyes shifted as well, and eventually, he found his legs started to shift and start to meld together as well.  
  
Within a week of the initial shift, he had a tail that, when completely straightened out, was probably about three times the length of his torso.  
  
Then he had to leave the Blades.  
  
His new family.  
  
The only people he’d been able to connect with in way too fucking long.  
  
Everything was all fine and good when he was with the Blades. And maybe it could sometimes be intimidating, and the fact that he was half the size of everyone there certainly didn’t help that, but he was really just scared to face his friends, especially when he’d changed so much. But no one seemed to care.  
  
Even family dinners when Allura forced him to leave his room. Sure, more often than not, things got a little bit violent, but he could handle violence. It was fun, even if he usually acted like he wanted to rip out his eyes and eat them whenever dinner rolled around.  
  
And movie nights. He wasn’t a fan of the close quarters at first, seeing as he was a pretty private person, dealing with being huddled up close with people he didn’t really know all that well even after being stuck in the middle of an intergalactic space war wasn’t exactly his cup of tea. Things got better, though. After what he perceived to be a year, judging by the small amount of information they had to go off of relating to time, though, people started dropping like flies, and eventually it was just him and Lance, which he couldn’t complain that much about.  
  
When the younger members of the Blade were first explaining his Omega status to him, they explained to Keith that an Omega would often latch onto a specific Alpha and try and mate with them.  
  
At the time, he’d denied it vehemently, but after movie nights, with being that close to Lance for way too long, he gave up trying to deny it.  
  
Instead, he embraced it.  
  
Lance was his Alpha.  
  
Falling asleep on each other became falling asleep with one curled up happily in the other’s arms, or cuddling, and one time Keith could have sworn he felt soft lips press against his scales.  
  
That being said, whatever god was making Keith happy to live life decided to snatch that away from him along with any sense of dignity he may have had by saying “fuck you” and sending him into heat in the middle of movie night.  
  
He was sitting there and enjoying being pressed up against a warm body, basking in the warmth all around him, when it  

started to get too warm, and he became all to familiar with the familiar tingly, fingertip-numbing all-encompassing feeling of his impending heat. Fuck.  
  
Despite having just started whatever Altean movie was playing, he had to struggle to roll over and hide himself as his translucent dick pressed out of the small opening and against Lance’s short-short clad, mostly bare hip. Which was not great, seeing as almost immediately after this happened, a gush of slick left the small slit in the head of it, already swollen and obscenely wet, knowing what was in store for it.

Keith let out a low whine, trying to ignore how turned on he already was.

“I— you know, I should probably.. get going. It’s-“ he faked a yawn, stretching out, “it’s getting, uh, late, y’know? Yeah. I’m.. I’m tired.” He yawned again, hoping Lance would buy it.

 He did not.

 And, while Keith was lying there, his already half-hard dick pressing against Lance’s thigh, hoping to god he couldn’t feel it— Lance had the _audacity_ to laugh at him. Frankly, Keith was hurt.

 “What?! I didn’t get much sleep last night, don’t blame me!”

 Keith scrunched up His nose indignantly and curled his tail up protectively, hoping to hide his dick from view. Lance just laughed again, patting Keith’s ass, which got him going even more, even if it wasn’t intentional.

 “Keith, buddy. It’s eight o’clock. I don’t care how tired you are, you can watch _at least_ another hour. C’mon. These awful things are never longer than an hour anyways.” He grinned lopsidedly and gestured towards the giant holo screen in front of them. Keith melted a little.

 To be completely honest, Keith didn’t even hate it that much. For the first time in his life he was with someone during his heat, and his body was absolutely fucking _loving it_. Instead of feeling like his blood was literally boiling, everywhere that Lance was touching felt… comfy. Like cucumbers on his eyes but all over his body. Cold, but comfortable.

 And then, he felt a shift inside of his lower abdomen, and his face flushed. He quickly started struggling to try and get out of Lance’s gently grip before he laid his whole fucking clutch in Lance’s lap, which was extremely hard, seeing as his tail was coiled around his entire body and up His shirt

 “Really, Lance, I have to go. I promised Hunk that I’d help him with breakfast tomorrow and I told Shiro that I could train tomorrow morning and I hate to cut it short, but I really-“ Keith jolted, cut off by Lance’s giant hand caressing his hip gently.

 “Is something wrong? Do you want me to pick a different movie?”

 The pouty little expression on Lance’s already confused face. He really just wanted to go to bed and hide so he could deal with his heat, but god, Lance’s scent and his touch and his blue eyes and his soft skin and-

 “I can stay a bit longer.”

 Fuck.

 

* * *

 

 Within minutes, Keith had broken. His cock was hard and leaking and he was about to cry from how tight his entire body was from holding in his stupid clutch. 

 He whimpered, tears stinging his eyes. In a moment of weakness, he blurted out.

 “Lance, I’m in heat.”

 For once, Lance couldn’t think of anything to say. His lips stayed pressed into a thin line, his mouth opening every few seconds as if he finally found something to say, but he didn’t. Not until after Keith spoke up again. 

 “I am so, _so_ sorry that I have to cut movie night short, but I’m really about to explode right about now and being this close to you is really, really not helping.”

 Lance froze up again, his grip tightening on Keith’s hip. After another painful minute of heavy silence, Lance started to laugh. It was quiet, and almost not there, but he could barely make it out over the sound of the movie, which was almost over at that point.

 “You’re _what?_ ”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It goes exactly how you think it would. Keith explains his heat to Lance at the speed of light and Lance is down, much to Keith’s bewilderment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s up fuckers it’s me again merry fucking Christmas love yall

* * *

 

 “You’re fucking  _what_ _?_ ” 

 Keith let out a low whimper, the sound of Lance’s voice setting something off in him again. Once his mocking laughter had finally died down, Keith cleared his throat.

 “I’m in heat and I— I need to _leave_ -“ He whined, a sound unfamiliar even to himself.

 Much to his chagrin, all Lance did upon hearing this was hold him tighter. 

 “So... you just need to have sex and you’ll be all good?” He raised an eyebrow. Keith just whined again, scratching at his arms desperately. 

 “You fucking creep— Lance, it’s not that simple, I seriously have to— I need to go..” he rubbed his eyes and sighed, sharpened nails digging into Lance’s wrists, losing all motivation to move as the eggs once again forced themselves down and he rutted hopelessly against tanned hands.

 “If it’s not that simple, just explain it to me.” Lance shrugged. Apparently, he still wasn’t grasping the gravity of Keith’s situation.

 Keith paused, squeezing his eyes shut. He wrapped his tail tightly around Lance’s waist, tweaking one nipple with the tip of it. He couldn’t hide the shiver of satisfaction that ran down his spine when Lance let out a soft whine to match his own.

 When Lance started rubbing his hand against his tight slit, he broke. 

 “A-AhLance! I‘ll explain it to you— please stop doing that, they’re gonna make a mess..” he rubbed his eyes and whimpered, curling up. 

 Finally, Lance seemed to relax his grip.

 “Okay, so, when— when an— a Galran Omega turns of... of age, we— they, start experiencing heats. When w- _they_ turn eighteen, tHey start laying clutches..” he glanced up at Lance’s face, hoping he got what that meant. 

 He did not.

 “Of eggs. And so I’m in heat and if you don’t fucking let me go I’m going to lay my damn clutch right on the damn couch. Please, Lance.. I’m sorry, I know I’m cutting movie night short, but-“

 Lance frowned, looking a bit concerned for a second as he thought. Slowly, he flipped Keith over, careful to make sure he wouldn’t crush his tail. 

 “Hey, Hey,” he paused and reached up to cup Keith’s cheel gently, pressing his other hand down his tail towards his weeping dick, “don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. Does— does it hurt?” He tilted his head to one side.

 Keith, biting back another whine as he nuzzled into Lance’s hand, nodded.

 “Usually. Thace said that it’s better with a mate, but... since I don’t have that, I’ve been meaning to ask them for, Uh, ‘heat aids,’ so hopefully it’ll be better soon..” he swallowed hard.

 Lance sat silently for a moment, letting Keith had told him sink in.

 “So... If I’m not mistaken, you just need to, uh... pass your clutch in someone and you’ll be all hunky dorey?” He raised an eyebrow. Keith nodded. “Oh. Okay, that’s easy.” Lance chuckled and pulled Keith’s face towards him. He pecked his forehead gently. “Just lay them in me. I don’t— I don’t mind. As long as you’re comfortable with it. I’m just— I’m down. The offer is our there.”

 Keith made a choked noise, tightening his grip on Lance’s hips gently, his tail scratching into his side. 

 “Are you serious? I— Lance, you don’t have to, this is— a really intimate thing, it’s supposed to be...” he trailed off, face flushing. “I’m just.. I’ll live, as long as I have... something. I’ve done it by hand before, it’s not that hard-” Keith cringed at his wording, turning away from him. His ears flicked a bit and folded down against his head.

 Lance merely shrugged and pushed on his cheek with his thumb. 

“Yeah. I’m serious. It sounds... fun, I guess? I’m not really sure. Guess I’m just intrigued. How many are there?” He laughed. “God. This is such a weird conversation. Never thought I’d be talking about having eggs laid up my ass— oh, shit, what do they feel like-?”

 Keith scrunched up his nose. 

 “What do you mean  _what do they feel like?_ How am I supposed to know? I haven’t exactly tried putting them.. up there, before.” 

 Lance snorted. 

 “Not what I meant. Are they soft, hard, squishy-“ 

 Keith clamped a hand over Lance’s mouth, shivering when he licked his palm to get him to let go. 

 “Stop it. please, stop talking about this. They feel and look like grape jel-o. That a good enough description for you?” He raised an eyebrow. Lance nodded and started sucking on his fingers until Keith finally pulled it away from him. “God. You’re so nasty.”

 Lance winked.

 “I’m aware.”

 

* * *

 

It took quite a while for Keith to get situated. He almost ended up letting his entire clutch go way too many times before he settled, Lance curled up happily in his lap. He sighed and stroked over one hip gently, his shorts long since discarded

 “You realize how much of a big deal this is, right? This is meant to be, like— special. It’s a fucking  _ceremony_ in some places. People get on a stage and do this to... consummate their.. their union.” He shrunk back a bit, suddenly regretting letting Lance agree to this. 

 Lance shushed him and made a soft cooing noise, leaning forwards to peck his lips. 

 “Shh.. it’s okay. This can be special in our own little way, right? This is special because it’s you and me. Rivals, right?” Lance snorted. “We’re— we’re gonna do this, because I care about you, and I want you to be... comfortable. I want you to feel good..”

 Slowly, Lance ran his hand down Keith’s hip, scratching at his scales the way he knew he liked. 

 “So... how long do you think we have before they, y’know... pop out.” He laughed softly and smiled, shifting down a bit. He kissed Keith’s pec, laughing yet again when he froze up a bit. 

 “Not very. We need to— maybe work a bit faster.” He shivered and watched as Lance nodded and slid down over his tail, back arching a bit as Keith pressed up experimentally.

 Watching the way his face twisted up in pleasure was fucking addicting.

 He sighed and closed his eyes, hips jerking subconsciously as Lance licked the head of his cock, scrunching up His nose. 

 “Why the fuck is your dick sweet?”

 Keith’s face flushed and he sighed before dragging Lance back up. Clearly, there was a lot more he had to explain. 

 “It’s.. numbing, I think-? I’m not really sure. It’s just kind of... there. I’ve never done this with anyone so I’m not quite used to this or anything like that but it’s supposed to— make this more... more fun. For you.” He sighed. “And I don’t really want you to just suck my dick and leave. Maybe just.. relax. For a second. We still have enough time to maybe...” 

 Keith sighed and gave Lance a weak smile before pulling him in, one hand pressing on the back of his neck and tugging him into a gentle kiss. Quickly, it turned much more heated than Keith had intended, and he started grinding up into him desperately.

 Lance whimpered and grabbed at Keith’s hair when he pulled away and licked down his neck, like he was searching something out with the flat of his forked tongue. When he apparently found what it was that he was looking for, he opened his mouth wide, fangs unsheathing. Lance watched with even wider eyes and whimpered as Keith’s sharp fangs sunk into his neck, pumping him full of something he couldn’t quite feel. Not for a few seconds, at least. 

 Suddenly, Lance’s body started to burn. He felt like he was on fire and the only way to fix it was to have everything Keith had to offer up his ass within the next few minutes. Holy shit. 

“Keith! Keith, fucking  _christ_ what did you  _do_ to me— it _hurts_ , need you to-” He whimpered, bucking his hips against him. Keith just smiled and pushed him back into the couch. 

 “I know it does, precious. I didn’t do anything to you.. Nothing you didn’t want, at least. I’m gonna make you feel so, so good..” he sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, basking in Lance’s moans and desperate whining as he begged for all sorts of things Keith absolutely couldn’t wait to give to him. 

 Lance shuddered and nodded, attempting to wiggle out from under his touch and discard his boxers. 

 “Please! Please, need it so bad, it hurts-“ he whined.

 Keith watched him writhe around with a cruel glint in his eyes. 

 “Have you ever fingered yourself, Lance?” He raised an eyebrow, reaching down and wrapping his hand around his weeping cock, squeezing hard before he started to stroke him off, swiping his thumb over the head for extra lubrication. 

 Lance squeezed his eyes shut, his face flushing a deep red color as he nodded. 

“On-Only once..” he swallowed hard.

 Keith nodded and reached down, collecting his own, apparently sweet-tasting slick off Lance’s thigh before he pressed two fingers into him. 

 “And what did you think about, Lance?”

 Lance whimpered as Keith started fucking him slowly on his fingers. He writhed around and spread his legs open wide, nails digging into the couch cushions. 

 When he didn’t get a reply, Keith pushed a third finger into him without warning, smiling when he was met with very little resistance and a low whine in the back of Lance’s throat.

 “You! You, please, more, fuck me— Keith, I need it so  _bad_ _!”_ Lance let out yet another needy whine and only grew more desperate when Keith pulled his fingers out of his now thoroughly slicked-up asshole, surveying his work.

 It wasn’t nearly enough, but with the state Lance was in, he wouldn’t care. The idea sparked something on him, actually. 

 Something that made him shove Lance back into the hard arm of the couch and bury his cock in him until he was begging for dear life for Keith to stop.

 So, he did.

 But his eggs didn’t.

 With his engorged cock still buried balls deep in Lance’s waiting ass, he felt his clutch start to move. It was an odd feeling, more than anything else. Not nearly as uncomfortable as it had been in the past... 

 “You know, Lance, if you keep whining like that, I might have to keep you. Would you like that? Being all drugged up all the time, being a little cock sheath for me whenever I please?”

 Truthfully, Keith had no idea where any of this talk was coming from, but if the way Lance started writhing around was any indication, it was working.

 “Ye— Ah, Yeah! God, fuck me, Keith— need you to-“ LAnne grunted as he lifted himself up slowly, flopping back down on Keith’s cock until he got the hint.

 Slowly, he started rolling his hips up into him until he felt his clutch shift even further down, finally letting the first few eggs slip past his tight entrance.

 And suddenly, Keith was in heaven.

 God. Distantly, there was something in the back of his mind reminding him that this was supposed to be for Lance as well, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Who was Lance? Probably no one. Probably just some creepy little egg-slut.

 And that was what he was.

 At that point, Lance could not stop trying to grab anything he could get his hands on; the couch, Keith’s hair, his own hair, Keith’s tail (which remained snaked around his torso and playing with his nipples). Anything.

 “Keith— haAH HOLY SHIT-“ and suddenly, white splattered his chest, and Lance looked absolutely bewildered. Keith was in histerics.

 He wheezed out an empty-sounding laugh and buried his face once more in his neck, rocking his hips into him as much as he could, trying to force his eggs into him despite how much Lance was whining.

 “So soon, Doll? I haven’t even gotten anything inside of you yet. What a shame. Guess we’ll just have to keep going.”

 Keifh pouted at him and tangled one fist in Lance’s hair, yanking his head back as he forced the first two little egg-lumps on his dick into him. He let out a sharp cry, tail spasming a bit, and he wasn’t even passing them yet.

 Or maybe he was?

 Slowly, he whimpered, burying his face in the crook of Lance’s neck and biting him again as both eggs worked their way out of his dick. When the first one completely exited, he felt pure euphoria. His vision flashed white and he let out a sudden, obscene moan, pistoning his hips into him as the second one escaped as well.

 He could understand why this was such a big deal now.

 Meanwhile, Lance was under him, fully hard again from the sight of the absurdly horny snake above him, as well as the toxins pumping into him through Keith’s needle-sharp fangs. He couldn’t even fully register what was going on at that point. Only that Keith was inside of him and Keith was feeling good and Keith was all around him, keeping him safe.

 He could’ve came from that thought alone, if it weren’t for Keith’s tail keeping a tight hold on his dick.

 Lance started writhing around even more as Keith started to pump him full of eight more gelatinous eggs, each one sending ripples and waves of pleasure through his entire body like the ocean.

 And then, finally, when the very last egg pushed past his straining hole, Keith let go of his dick and Lance came with a scream as the final intrusion finally entered him, his body fell limp, as well as Keith’s.

 They both laid there, chests heaving, as the credits to the movie playing on the screen next to them.

 “Holy shit,” Lance muttered.

 “Holy shit indeed...” Keith sighed, letting out a contented cooing noise before he passed right out, happy and warm and calm and, most importantly, rid of his stupid fucking heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment, I’m loving all the fucking egg puns I love y’all so fucking much!! Follow me if you’re into some nasty shit because,,, why not idk. I’m planning on writing more stuff involving this au because I love it?? But idk. Maybe someone walks in while Lance is embracing his inner Easter basket.


End file.
